True Love vs. Other
What is love? What is true love vs. other kinds?
We, as humans, are like little machines, who are constantly in motion, constantly producing all kinds of chemical reactions. Chemical reactions happen in response to something.
Feelings are chemical reactions.
So those people who say that “love is a drug” are not far off. Love is a chemical reaction (as other feelings).
But to say that love is not real just because it’s a chemical reaction is like saying that we are not real just because we feel through the use of chemical reactions. It’s how we function. We need to be aware of that, which in turn will help us understand ourselves and then maybe we could even learn to control ourselves.
When you meet someone, you feel a response in your soul/mind/body. You may feel either a negative, positive or a neutral feeling resulting from your encounter. See it as a chemical reaction. The chemicals in your body have collided with the chemicals of another person. Or your energy with another person’s energy. Or whatever you want to call it. But just be aware: the mixture of who you are has collided with the mixture of who they are, and a chemical reaction is produced.
Love is a positive chemical reaction. Basically when “who you are” has met “who they are” and you are compatible on some levels, this would produce a chemical reaction of love, which makes you feel good.
Each person is a mixture (a combination of things). And when this mixture (you) meets with another mixture (her/him), he/she may be compatible in some ways and not compatible in other ways.
For example, imagine you have two pieces that need to fit together. They have certain edges and they go inside of each other. Imagine two pieces that perfectly fit together or two pieces that only partially fit together or two pieces that don’t fit together at all.
So, in the more ways you “fit”, the more closely you will bond, the more perfect union you will create. In other words, in the more ways that you "fit", the more deeply you will bond with them and feel for them.
What does it mean to "fit"? Well, your body has certain preferences, certain things/looks/behaviors that you like and that you don't like. You body reacts when it observes these in another person. Your body/mind is attracted to the things it likes in another person. And many of these attractors happen on a subconscious level. And we don't really know exactly why we are attracted (either physically or emotionally) to a certain person and not to another comparable one.
Friendship love is when two people fit only partially. They “fit” in some ways, but not in others. They are attracted only to certain things, but not to others.
True love is a chemical reaction which can only happen when both physical attraction and friendship/compatibility are present. No matter how hard you try, you cannot fall in love with someone you are not physically attracted to. You can feel deep affection for a friend and the desire to be with them. But you can’t experience the magical feeling of excitement when you’re around them (which only physical attraction can provide).
Of course you can love a friend deeply. But it’s a different kind of love. It’s not the romantic true love that all are seeking.
The reason that “true love” lasts is because it has both: physical attraction AND friendship/compatibility. It’s because once the attraction wears off, there is compatibility left to go on.
The couples who get together without physical attraction last longer as a union because they care about each other and have things in common and get along because of compatibility. But they miss the magic of being in love which they have never experienced with this person. This union could become very boring.
The couples who got together based only on a physical attraction have fun for a while, but then it wears off and there is nothing left, the union falls apart. And also, while it's falling apart, they have to go through lots of negative experiences because they can't get along or have nothing in common.
The problem that we have is this: when we feel attraction for another, sometimes it’s hard to tell whether it’s “true love” or “attraction only”. It’s hard to tell whether this feeling that we feel will last.
Well, truth be told, the feeling won’t last no matter what. (It will change into a different kind of feeling). However, the union WILL last if it’s true love because it means there is compatibility to keep things going.
The reason that it’s hard to tell the difference between true love (a package of attraction with compatibility) and attraction-only is because the feeling of attraction is like a very powerful drug. It changes the way you see a person. You cannot see reality. Or you can easily deny it. That’s why they say: love is blind. When we are strongly attracted to a person, everything about that person gets enhanced and we TEMPORARILY like everything they do and the way they are and we almost worship them. It’s like being under hypnotism. It's very hard to see reality while being in this condition.
Just remember those instances where a guy is looking at the girl’s breasts and then does her bidding because he can’t help himself. The attraction is a chemical that has a powerful effect like hypnotism. And it’s no laughing matter. So many people have suffered because of being under influence of this drug. So many people have made most foolish decisions because they couldn’t help themselves.
Attraction is a very dangerous drug that can destroy life. Attraction is considered a part of love and love is considered beautiful. But we need to see attraction for what it is. Yes, it is a part of love and in that way it’s good. But it could be really bad for some when used improperly. Like they say: "kids, don't do this at home".
When you live together with a person who is not compatible, but you are very attracted to them, you will tell yourself: "can't live without you and can't live with you". It's a difficult situation.
When you are interacting with someone who has a powerful hypnotic effect on you, you have to be extremely careful and stay away if you can sense that there is no compatibility. Because it becomes very difficult to say no to that person or to make rational decisions. So when you see someone who is strongly attracting you, you need to become very alert and try to shake off the hypnotic effect so you can think clearly, and try to recognize if you would be able to get along with this person and whether they have things in common with you, similar beliefs, similar outlook on life. (Or are you going to live like a cat and a dog?) It's going to be very difficult to see straight while under influence so it's going to be very important to be very aware of what's going on.
Unless of course you are only looking for a temporary fun moment. Then by all means, run to that person for this “high”.
EMOTIONAL MEMORY
Emotional memory is when we feel something, but can’t remember the details. Often when two people used to have good times and then they stop (doing things to create good time), they continue to love each other because they still remember the good times (subconsciously, in their feelings) and they still have good feelings about each other. But if they start to forget the feelings and nothing is happening in the present either, then “the love will grow cold”. The love is a flame that needs something to keep it burning. Either present actions of a couple towards each other should keep it going or them remembering the past actions.
Emotional memory is different for different people. Some have a good memory and remember the feelings longer and that’s why their unions keep going strong longer. And others forget the past (in their feelings) and grow apart much sooner.
We, as humans, are like little machines, who are constantly in motion, constantly producing all kinds of chemical reactions. Chemical reactions happen in response to something.
Feelings are chemical reactions.
So those people who say that “love is a drug” are not far off. Love is a chemical reaction (as other feelings).
But to say that love is not real just because it’s a chemical reaction is like saying that we are not real just because we feel through the use of chemical reactions. It’s how we function. We need to be aware of that, which in turn will help us understand ourselves and then maybe we could even learn to control ourselves.
When you meet someone, you feel a response in your soul/mind/body. You may feel either a negative, positive or a neutral feeling resulting from your encounter. See it as a chemical reaction. The chemicals in your body have collided with the chemicals of another person. Or your energy with another person’s energy. Or whatever you want to call it. But just be aware: the mixture of who you are has collided with the mixture of who they are, and a chemical reaction is produced.
Love is a positive chemical reaction. Basically when “who you are” has met “who they are” and you are compatible on some levels, this would produce a chemical reaction of love, which makes you feel good.
Each person is a mixture (a combination of things). And when this mixture (you) meets with another mixture (her/him), he/she may be compatible in some ways and not compatible in other ways.
For example, imagine you have two pieces that need to fit together. They have certain edges and they go inside of each other. Imagine two pieces that perfectly fit together or two pieces that only partially fit together or two pieces that don’t fit together at all.
So, in the more ways you “fit”, the more closely you will bond, the more perfect union you will create. In other words, in the more ways that you "fit", the more deeply you will bond with them and feel for them.
What does it mean to "fit"? Well, your body has certain preferences, certain things/looks/behaviors that you like and that you don't like. You body reacts when it observes these in another person. Your body/mind is attracted to the things it likes in another person. And many of these attractors happen on a subconscious level. And we don't really know exactly why we are attracted (either physically or emotionally) to a certain person and not to another comparable one.
Friendship love is when two people fit only partially. They “fit” in some ways, but not in others. They are attracted only to certain things, but not to others.
True love is a chemical reaction which can only happen when both physical attraction and friendship/compatibility are present. No matter how hard you try, you cannot fall in love with someone you are not physically attracted to. You can feel deep affection for a friend and the desire to be with them. But you can’t experience the magical feeling of excitement when you’re around them (which only physical attraction can provide).
Of course you can love a friend deeply. But it’s a different kind of love. It’s not the romantic true love that all are seeking.
The reason that “true love” lasts is because it has both: physical attraction AND friendship/compatibility. It’s because once the attraction wears off, there is compatibility left to go on.
The couples who get together without physical attraction last longer as a union because they care about each other and have things in common and get along because of compatibility. But they miss the magic of being in love which they have never experienced with this person. This union could become very boring.
The couples who got together based only on a physical attraction have fun for a while, but then it wears off and there is nothing left, the union falls apart. And also, while it's falling apart, they have to go through lots of negative experiences because they can't get along or have nothing in common.
The problem that we have is this: when we feel attraction for another, sometimes it’s hard to tell whether it’s “true love” or “attraction only”. It’s hard to tell whether this feeling that we feel will last.
Well, truth be told, the feeling won’t last no matter what. (It will change into a different kind of feeling). However, the union WILL last if it’s true love because it means there is compatibility to keep things going.
The reason that it’s hard to tell the difference between true love (a package of attraction with compatibility) and attraction-only is because the feeling of attraction is like a very powerful drug. It changes the way you see a person. You cannot see reality. Or you can easily deny it. That’s why they say: love is blind. When we are strongly attracted to a person, everything about that person gets enhanced and we TEMPORARILY like everything they do and the way they are and we almost worship them. It’s like being under hypnotism. It's very hard to see reality while being in this condition.
Just remember those instances where a guy is looking at the girl’s breasts and then does her bidding because he can’t help himself. The attraction is a chemical that has a powerful effect like hypnotism. And it’s no laughing matter. So many people have suffered because of being under influence of this drug. So many people have made most foolish decisions because they couldn’t help themselves.
Attraction is a very dangerous drug that can destroy life. Attraction is considered a part of love and love is considered beautiful. But we need to see attraction for what it is. Yes, it is a part of love and in that way it’s good. But it could be really bad for some when used improperly. Like they say: "kids, don't do this at home".
When you live together with a person who is not compatible, but you are very attracted to them, you will tell yourself: "can't live without you and can't live with you". It's a difficult situation.
When you are interacting with someone who has a powerful hypnotic effect on you, you have to be extremely careful and stay away if you can sense that there is no compatibility. Because it becomes very difficult to say no to that person or to make rational decisions. So when you see someone who is strongly attracting you, you need to become very alert and try to shake off the hypnotic effect so you can think clearly, and try to recognize if you would be able to get along with this person and whether they have things in common with you, similar beliefs, similar outlook on life. (Or are you going to live like a cat and a dog?) It's going to be very difficult to see straight while under influence so it's going to be very important to be very aware of what's going on.
Unless of course you are only looking for a temporary fun moment. Then by all means, run to that person for this “high”.
EMOTIONAL MEMORY
Emotional memory is when we feel something, but can’t remember the details. Often when two people used to have good times and then they stop (doing things to create good time), they continue to love each other because they still remember the good times (subconsciously, in their feelings) and they still have good feelings about each other. But if they start to forget the feelings and nothing is happening in the present either, then “the love will grow cold”. The love is a flame that needs something to keep it burning. Either present actions of a couple towards each other should keep it going or them remembering the past actions.
Emotional memory is different for different people. Some have a good memory and remember the feelings longer and that’s why their unions keep going strong longer. And others forget the past (in their feelings) and grow apart much sooner.